Ways My Life is Not Like the Movies...and Why its OK!!!!

So, this post is coming after a night of eating coconut creme pie, knitting and watching The Lucky One alone in my living room.  I know you are all jealous of my Friday nights!!!  But anyways, I finished watching the movie and automatically the first thought I had was, "I wish my life was like that!"  Then I started to think about how often I say or think that after watching a movie and how much time I spend wishing my life were something else, like something I'd seen in a movie.  Then I started to think about how unrealistic this was and all the ways my life is not like a movie (don't worry, I won't list them all!).  I know a lot of people have commented on the unrealistic expectations movies and TV shows give us but I decided I wanted to put my two cents in as well. I don't think my thoughts are that original but if you are struggling with self-esteem or feeling unfulfilled in your life I hope this helps a little bit.
Now, my life is definitely not like a movie in many many ways and for a very long time I was disappointed with this.  I was disappointed that my life wasn't a Disney fairy tale or like a cute and funny Romantic Comedy.  I built up this ideal of what life should be like in my head that modeled the movies I loved to watch.  I'm sure you girls know what I'm talking about.  I wanted to be like Belle, sing like Ariel, have a love story like The Notebook and if I could kick butt like a Charlie's Angel that would just be icing on the cake!  But turns out life isn't exactly like this.
First of all, I am an incredibly awkward person.  I tend to be super awkward in group settings.  I may be that girl who busts out really bad dance moves at really inappropriate times.  When that awkward silence happens where nobody really knows what to say I either dance or sing, which isn't much better.  So given my awkwardness, you can imagine the easy, witty banter and flirting that happens in those romantic comedies doesn't exactly happen for me.  In fact, I often run away from cute guys like a junior high girl, despite the fact that I am 25.  I know, its awesome!!!  Don't even get me started on the kissing scenes.  That's a whole other level of awkward.
The second thing I blame for my feelings of an unfulfilled life at 18 is Disney Princess movies. I love the Disney Princesses as much as the next girl but please, if there is a girl out there who can honestly tell me those movies didn't give her unreal expectations about love I would love to meet her!  I mean, they all get married at like 16 so you when I hit 21 and was still single I was pretty convinced I was an old maid and was doomed to a life as a spinster.  Plus, no guy had slayed a dragon for me or kissed me out a spell, literally or metaphorically, so therefore no guy was ever going to love me.  I do love to read so at least I had that going for me.  I knew there was a reason I loved Belle.  She gave me hope!
Finally, I will never be a Charlie's Angel.  I consider it a good day when I make it through without falling down, running into something or dropping my lunch down the front of my shirt.  Hand eye coordination was never really my thing.  Plus, I bruise like a peach and people would definitely start to ask questions.  I mean, concealer can only do so much after all.
So, its safe to say my life doesn't look anything like a movie.  My hair never looks that good!  But in all seriousness this is something I have struggled with for a long time and still struggle with.  I know many girls out there share in this struggle with self-esteem and unreal expectations about life that is so often fed by the media and images that surround us.  I also know this isn't just something women face.  I know men face similar issues, maybe not wanting to be a Disney Princess or be kissed by Ryan Gossling but I know there are other things.  Perhaps those struggles are self image or what it means to be a man.  So, even though I am a girl and can't exactly understand wanting to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger  I speak to you too.
It's OK that our lives are not like the movies! Movies aren't real life.  It take hours of hair and make-up and multiple takes to create what we expect to happen in our daily lives with no professional stylist or beauty team and no extra takes.  We can't expect our lives to be like the movies because while the movies are meant to portray real life it isn't realistic to expect the same results in our own daily lives.  Sure, we may have those moments of life that look like a movie but most of the time life is awkward and messy and there are no dragons or magic spells.  In real life we are awkward and make fools of ourselves and its totally OK! Its totally OK because most movies in our culture today are missing the most important aspect of the real world.  They are missing something that is even better than the "perfect" love scene.  They are missing the perfect love of God.
See, the reason its OK our lives aren't like movies is because  we have a God who loves us unconditionally, even if we can't master beach waves or kung fu!  Even if we aren't a size zero and totally geek out about classical music God loves us.  We are created in God's image and likeness and He loves us unconditionally.  No matter how awkward I may be or how many times I fail I know God loves me and that is so much better than the movies.
So rather than striving for a life like the "perfect" ones we see on television let's embrace the life God has given us, awkward dance moves and all.  It is a daily struggle to put away all those expectations that build up over the years.  I know.  I still struggle with it.  But rather than trying to over come them ourselves let's give them up to God and let Him transform our vision and expectations for the life He has given us.  Then call your best friend and go embrace the life you have been given.  We are called to walk together.  Christ never said we had to do it alone, so don't.  Gather around yourself a community that will build you up and support you in embracing your life.
Above all, remember God loves you and will help you live your dream life!

The Bucket List: Do Something Spontaneous

I'm by nature a planner.  I'm not very spontaneous.  I like to have a plan and when there is a plan it stresses me out to deviate from it.  In spite of this in my new mission to live out my bucket list of new dreams and a full life I added, Do Something Spontaneous to the list.  I wanted to add things to my bucket list that would challenge me and this was definitely one of those things.
Going back a bit, 6 weeks to be exact, I moved to Cheyenne to start a new job.  I didn't really know many people so I decided that if people asked me to do something I would say yes.  So the few people I knew started asking me to do things and I started saying yes.  I was a little like Jim Carey in that movie Yes Man although not quite to that extreme.  I didn't go sky diving or anything, just to a rodeo, which if you know me you know that isn't exactly my scene.
I happened to move to Cheyenne the week of Cheyenne Frontier Days, which just happens to be one of the biggest rodeos around.  The Daddy of 'Em All takes over the town for about 2 weeks and for some reason the town always seems to think the week of the rodeo is a great time to start construction so you can't get anywhere between traffic and traffic cones.  Although it can be hassle it does provide a lot to do and for the first time in my life I took full advantage of the festivities the rodeo provided.  I said yes to opportunities that gave me an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone in an attempt to build a sense of community in my new town.  I went to bull riding, rodeos, and a Toby Keith concert.  I had a great week at the rodeo and was so glad that I said yes to those things.
So, a week after CFD when a friend asked me to go down to Denver with her for a Brad Paisley concert that night I said yes.  I definitely did not wake up planning on attending a concert that night.  My day was not going to go according to plan.  In fact, I was planning on playing in a softball game and heading to bed early given how tired I was and the early morning I had the next day.  All of these things were going through my head and I almost said no but then I thought of my bucket list and the dream I had to live life to the full and said yes.  I knew I may not get another chance to see one of my favorite artists and knew I couldn't say no.  Two people said no going to the concert and it was like God was giving me this amazing gift and all I had to say was yes.
Saying yes led to one of the coolest experiences of my life.  I had a great chat with my friend as we drove down to Denver and the openers were really good.  Then it was Brad's turn and from the first chord I knew I had made the right choice.  The concert started with the song, Southern Comfort Zone and as I sang along I was reminded of home and how much I love my home state, even if it isn't in the south.  After being away so long I am happy to be home and near all those I love.  This song and most of Brad's songs remind me of things I love and speak to my heart.  This wasn't just about entertainment but an experience of love and really God reminding me of what an amazing life He has given me.
The bow that wrapped up this beautiful gift God gave me came about halfway through the concert.  Brad's band looked to be leaving and he began making his way through the crowd and everyone, including myself, began craning their necks to see him and asking the question, "Where is he going?" Then we got an answer and all I could say was, "I can't believe this is happening!"  See, Brad stopped at the end of my row where a secondary stage was set up and so began the "unplugged" portion of the concert.  Brad Paisley, one of my favorite singers, was 10 feet away singing I'm Still a Guy which just happens to be one of my dad and I's favorite songs.  A love of Brad Paisley is something my dad and I share so hearing one of his favorite songs just reminded of that bond we share and once again Brad's concert was about more than just entertainment.  Brad sang about 3 songs on the secondary stage before heading back to the main stage to finish his concert.
The concert ended and we headed home with a firm love for Brad Paisley.  His concert was one of graciousness, humility and love.  From giving a signed guitar to a little girl to bringing  his openers back on stage Brad displayed a love for others and a great humility.  That's what made the concert so great.  Plus he's just an amazing musician.
So, I have checked do something spontaneous off my list and it was an amazing experience but I definitely don't think it will be the last spontaneous thing I do.  I want to continue to embrace the experiences that come my way to live life to the full and I encourage you to do the same.  I can't guarantee every experience will be great.  I don't expect all spontaneous choices to be good but I know I can learn and grow from them which is why I will continue to choose them.  Choosing a life and Living a Dream is about embracing those opportunities in life that help us to grow.  So, do something spontaneous and embrace the gifts of experiences God want to give you.

The Bucket List

I've always thought about my bucket list and talked about things I wanted to do before I died.  This was only a thought and an abstract concept in my jumbled up brain for a long time however, until about 6 months ago when my bucket list was born.  I was hanging out with my friend and we couldn't decide what to do for the afternoon.  See, we lived in a tiny town of about 400 people in the middle of farming country in Ireland where there wasn't a whole lot to do so I decided we should make bucket lists.  So, crayons in hand we set about writing our bucket lists.  There were some things I had dreams about my whole life and some things I found on other bucket lists and internet research that made the list.  I think there is something so important about writing out your dreams and making them something tangible.  Writing down that bucket list somehow made it more real and has given me the drive to actually start achieving some of those dreams.
Why am I telling you all of this you might ask?  Well, just like I believe putting that list down in writing made it more real I believe telling others about my dreams will make me more accountable to those and I'm hoping by telling you all about my dreams you can help me achieve them.  See, accomplishing things on a bucket list is as much about the people you accomplish them with as the actual event.  I want to give you the chance to share in my dreams and grow with me.  I want your help in achieving these goals.  So, I am going to write my bucket list here and as I finish things I will write about them and bring you into the adventure.

THE LIST!
Visit All 7 Marian Apparition Sites
Go on Pilgrimage to the Holy Land
Go to Christ the Redeemer in Rio
Bring Others to Christ
Go to Where St. Gianna Lived
Read the Whole Bible
Run a Marathon
Go Bungee Jumping
Walk the Wicklow Way
Climb One of the World's Seven Summits
Sing at a Karaoke Bar
Play an Open Mic Night
Read the New York Time Bestseller List
Hike an Active Volcano
Learn to Water Ski
Become Fluent in Another Language
Go Cliff Jumping
Play in a Band
Learn to Sew
Learn to Beatbox
Do Something Spontaneous
Work in an African Orphanage
Complete Five Random Acts of Kindness
Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen
Volunteer in India
Grow Out and Donate My Hair
Visit Every State
Visit All US National Parks
Go Geo-caching
See All American Baseball Fields
Hike the Appalachian Trail
Go to Nashville
Drive Route 66 From Start to Finish
Go to Washington D.C.
Go Wine Tasting in Napa Valley
Go to Disney World
Break a Plate on Purpose
Ride an Elephant
Go on a Cruise
Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
Swim with Dolphins
Ride in a Helicopter
Go to the World Series
Take a Photography Class
Attend an Olympic Games
See the Northern Lights
Go Paint-balling
Watch Sea Turtles Hatch and Make for the Sea
Watch a Sun Rise and Set in One Day
Witness a Solar and Lunar Eclipse
See Ground Zero
Go Whale Watching
Ride a Jet-Ski
Take Ballroom Dance Lessons
Ride the Ten Largest Roller Coasters in the US
Watch 100 Greatest Movies to Date (2013)
Meet Someone Famous
Go to a World Cup
Catch a Fly Ball at a Major League Baseball Game
Ride in a Horse-Drawn Carriage
Eat Breakfast in Bed
Take a Cooking Class
Go to Canvas and Cocktails
Adopt Children
Get Married
Become a Keynote Speaker
Be Environmentally Conscious
Be Financially Stable
Maintain a High Level of Fitness
Let God Love Me
Love Myself
Be a Godmother
Learn to Trust
Live Life to the Full
Get a Master's Degree
Set Foot on Every Continent
Scuba Dive Off the Great Barrier Reef
Ride the Rocky Mountaineer
Visit Machu Pichu
See the Seven Ancient Wonders of the World
See the Seven Modern Wonders of the World
Go to Italy
Kayak in the Bio-luminescent Bay of Fijardo, Puerto Rico
Go to the Amazon Rainforest
See Niagra Falls in US and Canada
Go to a World Expo
Attend a Lantern Festival in Taiwan
Go on an African Safari
Walk the Great Wall of China
Throw a Dart at a Map and Go Where it Lands
See the Terra Cotta Warriors
Go to New Zealand
Go to Harry Potter World
Go to Rio Celeste, Coast Rica
Go to Scotland
Attend the Grand Ole Opry
See an Opera at the Met
See a Performance at the Sydney Opera House
Visit a "Real" Blues Bar in Chicago
Watch an Orchestral Performance in Vienna
Learn to Play Many Instruments
Go to a Jazz Club in New Orleans
See Straight No Chaser Live
See Michael Buble Live
See Once

So that's the list!  I know its long but I've got a lot of dreams!  Making this list has been an amazing opportunity for me to think about what is important to me and to dream big.  Most of my life I've been too afraid to dream big.  Its scary to admit those goals but I've actually found it freeing to identify what is important to help me.  It has also been healing in a lot of ways.  For most of my life I never dreamed big because I didn't believe I was special enough to do anything extraordinary.  Through writing this list I have started to believe I am worth enough to have big dreams.  This list isn't just about things I want to do but who I want to be.  I don't want to be the girl who is afraid to take risks or dream big because she doesn't think she is worth it.  I want to believe because I am a daughter of God I deserve big dreams and a life full of life, love and joy!  So, believe in yourself and make your own list because you deserve a life lived to the full!

New Dreams

A year ago I embarked on what I thought was the greatest adventure of my life.  Maybe it was but I think there are many more adventures ahead of me.  See, if you haven't read my previous blog posts let me fill you in a little bit about myself.  Last August I left the comfort of my home town Laramie, Wyoming to head to Ireland for a year to serve as a Catholic missionary with a group called NET Ministries.  NET stands for National Evangelization Teams and is a ministry that began in Minnesota over 30 years and has spread to Australia, Canada, Uganda and Ireland since.  The mission of NET is to challenge young Catholics to love Christ and embrace the life of the Church.  NET gathers young people ages 18-30 from all over the world to spend nine months traveling around spreading the good news of the gospel.  So, this is what I traveled to Ireland to do and it was amazing!
This blog was born from that adventure.  I wanted to have a way for others to share in the craziest adventure of my life to date.  I was sort of hit or miss with posting but am hopeful that this blog in some way allowed others to share in my adventure.  Now that I am back I have embarked on yet another adventure, even if it wasn't the one I expected.
See, since I've been home I've come to realize that living your dreams isn't always about doing crazy outrageous things living your dreams is about doing things you love and sharing them with people you care about. I still have crazy dreams that I want to pursue but I also know Living a Dream is a choice we make everyday.  I heard a quote from a friend this weekend that goes something like this, "You don't live a life, you choose one."  I am choosing a life and pursuing my dreams everyday. So, now I want to share my new dreams with anyone who wants to share in them.  I don't know what God has in store for my life but through this blog I hope to share some insights and adventures from my own life and hopefully will inspire others to think about their dreams and pursue them with abandon.