So, this post is coming after a night of eating coconut creme pie, knitting and watching The Lucky One alone in my living room. I know you are all jealous of my Friday nights!!! But anyways, I finished watching the movie and automatically the first thought I had was, "I wish my life was like that!" Then I started to think about how often I say or think that after watching a movie and how much time I spend wishing my life were something else, like something I'd seen in a movie. Then I started to think about how unrealistic this was and all the ways my life is not like a movie (don't worry, I won't list them all!). I know a lot of people have commented on the unrealistic expectations movies and TV shows give us but I decided I wanted to put my two cents in as well. I don't think my thoughts are that original but if you are struggling with self-esteem or feeling unfulfilled in your life I hope this helps a little bit.
Now, my life is definitely not like a movie in many many ways and for a very long time I was disappointed with this. I was disappointed that my life wasn't a Disney fairy tale or like a cute and funny Romantic Comedy. I built up this ideal of what life should be like in my head that modeled the movies I loved to watch. I'm sure you girls know what I'm talking about. I wanted to be like Belle, sing like Ariel, have a love story like The Notebook and if I could kick butt like a Charlie's Angel that would just be icing on the cake! But turns out life isn't exactly like this.
First of all, I am an incredibly awkward person. I tend to be super awkward in group settings. I may be that girl who busts out really bad dance moves at really inappropriate times. When that awkward silence happens where nobody really knows what to say I either dance or sing, which isn't much better. So given my awkwardness, you can imagine the easy, witty banter and flirting that happens in those romantic comedies doesn't exactly happen for me. In fact, I often run away from cute guys like a junior high girl, despite the fact that I am 25. I know, its awesome!!! Don't even get me started on the kissing scenes. That's a whole other level of awkward.
The second thing I blame for my feelings of an unfulfilled life at 18 is Disney Princess movies. I love the Disney Princesses as much as the next girl but please, if there is a girl out there who can honestly tell me those movies didn't give her unreal expectations about love I would love to meet her! I mean, they all get married at like 16 so you when I hit 21 and was still single I was pretty convinced I was an old maid and was doomed to a life as a spinster. Plus, no guy had slayed a dragon for me or kissed me out a spell, literally or metaphorically, so therefore no guy was ever going to love me. I do love to read so at least I had that going for me. I knew there was a reason I loved Belle. She gave me hope!
Finally, I will never be a Charlie's Angel. I consider it a good day when I make it through without falling down, running into something or dropping my lunch down the front of my shirt. Hand eye coordination was never really my thing. Plus, I bruise like a peach and people would definitely start to ask questions. I mean, concealer can only do so much after all.
So, its safe to say my life doesn't look anything like a movie. My hair never looks that good! But in all seriousness this is something I have struggled with for a long time and still struggle with. I know many girls out there share in this struggle with self-esteem and unreal expectations about life that is so often fed by the media and images that surround us. I also know this isn't just something women face. I know men face similar issues, maybe not wanting to be a Disney Princess or be kissed by Ryan Gossling but I know there are other things. Perhaps those struggles are self image or what it means to be a man. So, even though I am a girl and can't exactly understand wanting to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger I speak to you too.
It's OK that our lives are not like the movies! Movies aren't real life. It take hours of hair and make-up and multiple takes to create what we expect to happen in our daily lives with no professional stylist or beauty team and no extra takes. We can't expect our lives to be like the movies because while the movies are meant to portray real life it isn't realistic to expect the same results in our own daily lives. Sure, we may have those moments of life that look like a movie but most of the time life is awkward and messy and there are no dragons or magic spells. In real life we are awkward and make fools of ourselves and its totally OK! Its totally OK because most movies in our culture today are missing the most important aspect of the real world. They are missing something that is even better than the "perfect" love scene. They are missing the perfect love of God.
See, the reason its OK our lives aren't like movies is because we have a God who loves us unconditionally, even if we can't master beach waves or kung fu! Even if we aren't a size zero and totally geek out about classical music God loves us. We are created in God's image and likeness and He loves us unconditionally. No matter how awkward I may be or how many times I fail I know God loves me and that is so much better than the movies.
So rather than striving for a life like the "perfect" ones we see on television let's embrace the life God has given us, awkward dance moves and all. It is a daily struggle to put away all those expectations that build up over the years. I know. I still struggle with it. But rather than trying to over come them ourselves let's give them up to God and let Him transform our vision and expectations for the life He has given us. Then call your best friend and go embrace the life you have been given. We are called to walk together. Christ never said we had to do it alone, so don't. Gather around yourself a community that will build you up and support you in embracing your life.
Above all, remember God loves you and will help you live your dream life!
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